Hey veterans

Hey veterans of this game I need a little advice. DD found out yesterday that her number one school she had been pursuing would not be needing her services, as they had met their needs for the 2010-2011 season. She is taking it OK but I can tell she is disappointed greatly. How do I get her to pick herself up and continue to work hard for what she wants, if she wants. I am affraid she will lose confidence in herself and maybe just throw the towel in so to speak. She does have other schools who are interested and an offer on the table, but she really wanted this school based on the school and academic program they had available for her choosen field. Any advice welcomed it has just been a difficult couple of days.

 

Education is more important than softball. If that is her number one school because of education, don't take the school off her short list until she is sure that there is another school that she would like to attend. She may have to give up playing softball to get the education she wants. Did she check to see if the coach will accept walk ons during a tryout period?

My daughter did not get to attend what originally was her first school of choice because of cost, but we kept visiting schools until she found the one she wanted. It turned out that she liked the school she is now attending even more than her original first choice.

Good luck with your search.

 

I agree with luvmygirls. There are many schools. What school was she wanting?

If the school she wants is big enough they more than likely have Club softball. Club softball is very competitive and a lot less time-demanding. There are kids playing Club ball that turned down Division ball because of time commitments.

Pursue the educational objectives first; games come second. A friend of mine who used to assist at Carolina told me once that if it wasn't for softball she would be well off financially. Softball really is a lot of fun but life after softball lasts many, many years longer.

Like my favorite NC license plate says: "THINK AHEA".

 

Unless it's a school that only offers her major, kids adapt. Whatever school they end up attending---that's their school. They make new friends and they love it.

The question she will have to ask herself is how important is playing softball? Is it her passion? Is she driven by it? In college, it's a job...although it's a pretty cool job! But it's a different lifestyle than the average college student.

Big decisions before you, but if she can answer those questions truthfully, it will make the decision easier.

 

When my dd talked first to her first choice she was told we need a catcher and speed in the outfield. When we fill that we may talk to you. Her reply...That's fine this is where I want to go to school. Her travel coach was there and I always remember his comment, if she can't play for you then you will have a very, very good team. A week later she was contacted and signed.

No idea of playing time to expect and really don't care. I know she has improved tremendously through the fall season. Has learned about the game. Is challenged academically and is in the best situation I could have dreamed of for her. I just hope and pray it continues to be this positive through her college career.

 

The bold portion above I could not agree with more. I FULLY understand the feelings you are experiencing BUT the next four years will be gone in a flash and she will have to live with the diploma she earns from wherever she goes for the REST of her life. Four years of softball is not worth handicapping her in terms of her education. There are no million dollar contracts. My daughter was nominated for the Moorehead scholarship from Chapel Hill and it was almost enough to think about hanging up the cleats for good.

I have to disagree with the underlined portion. One of the things I have learned is that you never have a second chance to make a first impression. We were faced with the possibility of walking on to the "dream" school and I analysed it from every angle imaginable. The reality you are facing here is taking PT from a kid the coach has invested $$$ in. Are they going to run the risk of running off that other player? Couple that with the apparent belief from the staff that she didnt warrant a scholarship from the get go and you are swimming upstream. This is the conclusion I came to.

Rodney Threatt said it best when he said he has seen kids commit to colleges and their softball experience ruin their entire college career. College can and should be the best four years of your life. Since there are no pots of gold go where she is LOVED... it will make for a great four years.


ps: be carefull about one aspect of this... After having gone through it I am a firm believer you can show too much love to a program.. it will result you in always being listed as a safety valve while they persue their "pie in the sky" recruits.

 

Thanks for all the advice thus far. We had a real sit down, heart to heart talk this morning and have made some progress in moving forward. First she is bound and committed to playing at the collegiate level at some level. She is also committed to getting her degree. She also tells me she will commit herself to working even harder this off season, specifically working on becoming a better athlete. She also understands that there are still several schools who are interested in her and you never know when you may catch someone elses eye. She was All State 3A player this year so she can play a little. Thanks again and keep the advice coming, I guess I was just looking for some ways to help her move through this disappointment and get moving forward if that is what she wants.

 

That is exactly the right attitude to take when there is any disappointment.

That is the advice I have given several players over the years, including a baseball player. If you're not where you want to be, work harder and smarter. If you have done everything you can (maxed out) and it's still not happening it may be time to change your goals. But how many can say they've really maxed out?

I would make the coaches or whoever on the teams I play on aware of my desire to be better. But don't do what you've been doing; do what you've been doing better, smarter, different maybe.

If you have the desire there are people who will help you!! Make it known!!

 

I know that visiting the universities always got me really excited. While I was there I could picture myself as a student, no matter what school it was. Maybe one way to get her spirits up is to go take a road trip to one of the other schools or go to a sporting event at one of the schools.

Obviously this may not be as possible if the schools are quite a ways away.

 

chasing a dream or pursuing a diploma

There are some kids that are motivated in the classroom because it gives them better opportunities on the ball field. This is probably more prevelent for boys than with the young ladies, but it still does occur. For some, the game they play is a tremendous part of their life, and always will be in some way.

Each year thousands of kids graduate from all the colleges and universities across the country with "xyz" degrees. A vastly smaller group graduates with the same "xyz" degree and also have "collegiate athlete" on their resume'. That is also something that will be there for a person's entire working lifetime.

I was talking with someone the other day about the top female officers in a company and was told that three of the four women were former college athletes and the forth had been involved in competitive dance. Never did here what schools they attended but did hear about their competitive background. That's something to think about!

Every kid is different. If going to "State U." has been a lifetime dream, or if being a "widget maker" has always been a passion and there is only one school that teaches that, then that is where the kid should go.

If athletics are a passion then the kid, and their parents, need to be open to all opportunities. There is a "fit" for every player! A comment was made that college athletics is over after four short years and a career is a lifetime. That is true. But, a lifetime is a long time to regret not experiencing athletics for those four short years. Think about that!